


fuck this *revivals your zombiestuck*

by trivialtermite



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, F/F, F/M, Gun Violence, Its zombies, Like, M/M, Multi, No Smut, Parent Death, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, dave strider being gross and kinda weird as usual, himbos, i mean idk, if you have a hard time w gore/injury pleas b careful, it's zombiestuck what do you expect, just like, medical imagery, no vore, not actually vore but like . yknow, vore machines, zombies are like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:15:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29791101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trivialtermite/pseuds/trivialtermite
Summary: fuck this. tav dies in less than 5 minutes and all the zombiestuck content is from like 2011 and uses slurs and shit. so mad bc it wont let me do color text ,, idfk ,, gay people again
Relationships: Bornk, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jake English/Dirk Strider/Original Male Character, June Egbert/Original Character(s), Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, fuck this . dirkjakebeau? im callin it bornk, i'll add more as we go along - Relationship, not too much individual ship content, the perspective shifts so like
Kudos: 2





	fuck this *revivals your zombiestuck*

**Author's Note:**

> just for clarity, oc name/chumhandle reference here:
> 
> Anya (she/her, beta fankid) - UC [ungraciousContestant]
> 
> Beau (he/him, anya's alpha kid counterpart, her older brother here) - RR [ragingRecusant]
> 
> Tory (he/him, beta fankid) - CC [cthonicCultivator]
> 
> Kate (she/they, tory's alpha kid counterpart, his older sister here) - SV [stagnantVolition]
> 
> November/Nov (he/they, fantroll) - AF [affableCanine]

Your hands shake as you zip the last duffel bag.

The first you heard of the outbreak was only four days ago, when Anya brought it up casually in conversation. At first she didn’t seem too worried about it- just a few rabies cases from a bad deer or something- but, two days later, she texted you again.

\-- ungraciousConstestant  [UC] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

UC: june, listen to me.

UC: things are getting bad.

UC: it wasn’t rabies, it was some kind of fungus.

EB: a fungus??

EB: ok, so it wasn’t what you thought it was. what’s the big deal?

UC: no, you don’t get it.

UC: listen… you know those brain-eating amoebas that pop up every now and then?

UC: it’s like that.

EB: oh, come on, anya.

EB: it’s 9 am! can you save the conspiracies for later?

UC: it’s not a conspiracy.

UC: people are molding and rotting alive, and their bodies reanimate themselves after their organs give in.

UC: it spreads through spit, and it’s spreading quick, at least down here.

UC: i wouldn’t be telling you if i didn’t mean it. you know that.

EB: i… ok. aren’t the doctors helping you down there? i’m sure they can fix something.

UC: the doctors have it too. they’re no help.

EB: the doctors… anya, what are you saying?

UC: i’m saying we’re in trouble. this isn’t just some flu. the morgues filled up at first, bodies had to be left in the hospital. now the morticians have it, too, and people are burying each other in the woods. and… well, some bodies are just getting left where they are until they walk away themselves.

EB: well, that’s awful, but… oh, what am i supposed to say here?

EB: if you are telling the truth, then what do you think we should do?

UC: i’m making a memo on that.

UC: ...how do you make a memo.

EB: ok, i’ll help you, granny.

_ you send her a series of images and progressively more frustrated instructions until she manages to make a memo. _

UC: ok, thank you. i’ll detail what we need to do there, and attach the evidence that makes me so sure we need to take action.

EB: ...so you’re serious about this?

UC: of course i am. i don’t joke about things like this.

EB: you don’t joke at all, silly! :B

UC: ...ha ha. very funny. did laugh.

UC: .

UC: did i get that right?

EB: you’re getting there.

UC: ok, good.

UC: :|

UC: ...i’m trying here.

EB: hey, you’re getting there! try a smile.

UC: .

EB: c’moooooooon.

UC: :]

EB: :D!

UC: ok, this is getting pointless.

EB: oh come on. you’re having fun too, i know it.

UC: ...fine. this whole exchange has been fun, but i need to write that memo now.

EB: ...you can’t even give me one more little emoji?

UC: .

EB: just one!

UC: .

EB:  _ come on. _

UC: .

UC: :]

EB: yessssssss!

\-- ungraciousContestant  [UC]  ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] \--

You linger on your conversation for a moment, smiling at the small victory of finally getting her to use not one, but two emojis, before you click over to the memo she just made, in order to see this ‘evidence’ she keeps talking about. Regardless of how fun your last conversation was, she still seemed thoroughly scared of something, at least. She’s always been kind of paranoid, but something seems… different this time.

ungraciousContestant  [UC] opened memo on board PLANS.

UC: ok, listen up.

UC: as many of you may know, there has been an outbreak recorded recently.

UC: the subject of the matter is a fungus known as  mortui viventes, or simply as zombie mold in shorthand.

UC: the actual disease itself starts off with bacteria. when you get it, it has few to no symptoms, the worst of it being headaches and mild nausea.

UC: because news coverage and public information is questionable at best, i don’t know much of how the two interact or why it works the way it does, but one of the few things we do know about the outbreak is that the bacteria need to be present in order to get the ‘zombie’ effect from the fungus.

UC: if you have somehow avoided the bacteria, which is nearly impossible, considering that all of our drinking water has been full of it for months, then the fungus will simply rot your flesh and kill you that way, like a particularly gruesome skin infection.

UC: .

UC: if you have done an amount of research into the outbreak, you know that it began in southern appalachia, only about 450 miles away from me, somewhere in the backwoods of north georgia.

UC: due to my close proximity to the outbreak, this makes me the most reliable source on what’s been happening, unless kate and/or tory have any input.

UC: but, for now, i’m acting based on the thought that, for now, i’m the closest one to the outbreak who has the most personal experience in how it works, and isn’t dead yet.

UC: .

UC: i will now describe the symptoms and transmission of zombie mold, since that is the most important thing to note as quickly as possible, for use among ourselves and future use among survivors. this lists the symptoms that affect those with both the bacteria and the fungus, as comorbid cases are the most common, and make up approx. 98% of cases.

UC: .

UC: the early-onset symptoms of zombie mold are essentially the same symptoms as blood poisoning or a simple cold. delirium, chills, swelling of affected areas, et cetera. 

UC: another noted symptom is increased strength, speed, and energy. think of it in the same way, say, a rabid animal can lash out with incredible ferocity despite being late in the process of dying.

UC: .

UC: midway through the process, more severe symptoms set in. flu symptoms are common, but the primary symptom, outside of a high fever, is immense moisture production. excess saliva and sweat, watery eyes, the list goes on.

UC: keep in mind, any and all fluids of an infected person are  _ full of spores. _ if you come into contact with an affected creature without protection,  _ you  _ **_will_ ** _ be infected. _ do not touch affected creatures under any circumstance.

UC: .

UC: in late-stage infection, skin will begin to molder and rot. so much fluid will be expelled that the affected creature will essentially be jerky by the time they actually die. 

UC: due to the severe dehydration, affected creatures seek water in any form it comes in. they see unaffected or early-stage humans and animals as walking juice packs, and they’re essentially dying of thirst.

UC: zombie mold also affects the throat and the ability to swallow in its victims, making it nearly impossible for the affected creatures to eat or drink.

UC: the fungus itself also disables almost all cognitive function, hence the zombie effect.

UC: the affected creature’s motor controls remain largely the same, only the creature itself cannot see or hear, making navigation difficult and almost entirely based on touch and smell.

UC: .

UC: in reference to transmission, the fungus- which is the part you want to avoid, since it’s deadly no matter what you do- is transferred via the saliva and bodily fluids of the affected. this is mostly through bites, since the spores thrive the most in the warm, wet environment of the mouth, but sweat can also cause infection if not washed off immediately. in order to disable the spores gained through contact with infected sweat or saliva, sanitizing your body (not just the infected area) with rubbing alcohol or peroxide has been proven to work. this only proves effective after a few hours, though, so sanitize your skin as fast as possible after exposure. this does not apply if the spores have already come into contact with an open wound or sore, as it’s already in your bloodstream. if that happens… i couldn’t say what to do at this point.

turntechGodhead  [TG] responded to memo.

TG: warm and wet huh

UC banned  TG from responding to memo.

UC: anyway.

UC: if you don’t believe me, feel free to just fucking die, but all it takes is a google search to see that i’m right.

UC: before i begin with plans, have any of you shown symptoms of the fungus?

adiosToreador  [AT] responded to memo.

AT: uHH, mY DOCTOR SAID THAT IT WAS JUST SPOROTRICHOSIS, aND THAT IT WASN’T A PROBLEM,

UC: ok, this is a good time to discuss how to humanely put yourself down.

AT: hUH,

UC: the fungus rots the majority of the brain, leaving the brain stem and cerebellum mostly intact. the easiest way to guarantee an easy death and lack of reanimation is to destroy for the cerebellum- just above the dip where your head and neck meet.

AT: hEY,

UC: ideally, you would be using a gun with the barrel aimed slightly upwards, in order to simultaneously disable motor function, making movement after death impossible, and kill you relatively painlessly.

AT: uH, tHIS FEELS KIND OF TARGETED,

UC: that’s because it is.

UC: anyway, if you don’t have a gun, you can take a sharp, sturdy metal or wooden object (a shard of scrap metal, a stake, etc.), place it at the same angle the barrel of a gun would be at, and bang your head backwards into it until it penetrates your skull and destroys the cerebellum.

UC: or, you could just set yourself on fire, killing you alongside the spores.

AT: oK, wHAT IF I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THOSE,

UC: then you can either grow a pair or turn into a zombie.

AT: hEY, tHAT SOUNDS KINDA MEAN,

UC: oh, this isn’t mean.

UC: do it yourself or let the vultures do it for you, gayboy.

UC banned  AT from responding to memo.

UC: ok, anyone else?

UC: .

_ She waits about five minutes, and you watch the time tick by. You take a deep breath, and type a quick message into the chat. _

ectoBiologist  [EB]  responded to memo.

EB: hey! uhh… if i can ask, how do you… know all this? i’m not trying to accuse you of anything!

EB: i’m just… a little concerned is all.

UC: you’re not intruding at all.

UC: two of my family members caught it about a week ago, and the rest are presumably in the earlier stages.

UC: my brother gave me permission to take note of his deterioration, and experiment on him after he died in order to find ways to put down the infected.

UC: my younger brother didn’t exactly give me permission, but he escaped from his bindings, and i have no plans to be eaten alive or dead.

UC: i don’t have the fungus myself, considering my recent departure from my living situation and my caution surrounding the issue, but they should all be dead or dying by now.

ragingRecusant  [RR] responded to memo.

RR: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE IM DEAD

UC banned  RR from responding to memo.

UC: correction for clarity: they’re all  _ probably _ dead or dying by now.

EB: aww, i’m sorry!! that sucks.

UC: it really doesn’t, but thank you.

UC: anyway, i’m going to keep writing, if you don’t mind. thanks for asking.

EB: no problem!!! egbert signing off. :B

UC: .

UC: ok, continuing onto plans, presuming everyone is relatively alive and well, and that transportation/resources is roughly the same as it was approx. a month ago.

UC: .

UC: june, you take jane and head down to mckinnon.

UC: vriska, please try and take equius with you to converge with june and jane.

UC: nepeta, november, and karkat, you head to mckinnon with vriska and june.

UC: after this, make your way to central colorado, where terezi will meet up with you.

UC: please confirm now if this plan will work for you.

ectoBiologist  [EB] responded to memo.

EB: can do!

gutsyGumshoe [GG]  responded to memo.

GG: O...kay. Are you sure that this isn’t… you know… a little overblown?

UC: yes.

UC  banned  GG from responding to memo.

centaursTesticle  [CT] responded to memo.

CT: D → Okay

arsenicCatnip  [AC] responded to memo.

:33 < affurmative!!!

gallowsCalibrator  [GC] responded to memo.

GC: Y34H 1 C4N DO TH4T

arachnidsGrip  [AG] responded to memo.

AG: Ok, fine. 8ut you're getting a little too... comfy captaining this metaphorical ship.

UC: don’t worry, vriska, you’ll default to leadership with every team you converge with.

AG: Now that’s more like it!!!!!!!!

UC banned  AG from responding to memo.

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] responded to memo.

CG: HEY, ARE WE JUST GOING TO FUCKING ACCEPT THIS?

CG: SHE HASN’T EVEN PROVIDED ANY KIND OF PROOF.

CG: ANYA, I’M CALLING YOU OUT.

UC: are you now.

UC: ok, what proof would you like to see.

UC: the carefully labeled images of my siblings’ rotting flesh, the hundreds of news reports, the biohazard labels slapped on every water source within ten miles of me, or maybe a video of the dead bodies shuffling around the hiking trails where i live.

UC: i’d be happy to provide any of the previously listed pieces of information, if you really need to be convinced.

CG: EW, FUCK NO!!!

CG: I DON’T NEED TO SEE ANY OF THAT SHIT.

UC: ok, so you’ll come along then.

CG: NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND.

UC: no.

UC  banned  CG from responding to memo.

UC: november?

UC: oh my god, can someone please text him.

_ You frantically text him. You love November dearly, but he’s… not the brightest, and doesn’t like to read. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure he knows how. But, eventually, he responds. _

EB: he says he’ll come!

UC: ok, good. thanks , june.

UC: .

UC: ok, that’s done. now onto the next part of the plan.

UC: rose, roxy. i’m on my way to your house as we speak, as my area has been completely overrun with the infected. kanaya, you should go to house lalonde, as well, if you can.

UC: aradia and i have already talked over her plans; she’s going to take sollux and head out to michigan, to try and build a refuge for survivors and keep pesterchum running- it’s a long-term, ambitious plan, but no one could do it better than her.

UC: .

UC: ok, i’ll need come confirmation from the lalondes and kanaya.

_ There’s a moment of silence, until Kanaya types back. _

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo.

GA: Yes I Think That Will Work

GA: This Feels Sort Of Weird But Ive Seen Enough To Believe It

UC: thank you, kanaya.

UC: you have a vehicle and weapons, right?

GA: Yes

UC: good. stay safe.

GA: I Will

tipsyGnostalgic  [TG]  responded to memo.

TG: hehe okie

TG: oooh the girlz r comin to our house

TG: bet u like that rosie

TG: or u dont i dont judge

tentacleTherapist  [TT]  responded to memo.

TT: Well, I enjoy seeing my friends and girlfriend, naturally.

TT: But, yes, that will work for me.

TG: sleepovr!!!!!

TT: I do have a few questions, though.

UC: that makes sense, but please save them until after i’ve finished providing the basic information.

TT: Okay. Try to make it quick, though; my curiosity is limitless, and I don’t know just how much more infinitely it can expand before my feeble human brain breaks from the sheer vastness of it.

UC:... ok.

UC: eridan and feferi are working with much more flexibility than the rest of us, due to their geographic and financial positions.

UC: in several grueling conversations with eridan and, by extension, feferi, we came to the conclusion that they’ll stay where they are, considering they have their own water source and their home security isn’t worth leaving unless the place catches on fire.

UC: the bacteria should wear itself out in a few years if everything goes according to plan, which is surely long enough for eridan and feferi to survive in their conditions.

UC: ... _ beau  _ will be responsible for meeting up with dave and dirk and bringing them to the meeting spot in central texas.

UC: tory and kate will also rendezvous with the rest of us, as they have expressed to me that they are perfectly capable of transporting themselves alone, and that way would be quickest.

UC: .

UC: now, standard protocol.

UC: team june, team vriska, and team november. the three of you should converge in wyoming in one week.

UC: lalondes and kanaya, i’ll be at yours tomorrow. i’ve traveled about 150 miles out today, and i can go the other 350 and be there by around 1 pm tomorrow, but account for me being there as late as five due to road closings and possible altercations.

UC: after we get to our respective meeting points, we should all converge at the central texas rendezvous.

UC: if any of us don’t show up to converge, wait a week, then move on, assuming they’re dead.

UC: all this, in total, should take about two months.

UC: we should all be there by the second week of july, but we’ll stay for approx. 2 weeks afterwards to account for lost/held up teams.

UC: after waiting at the meeting point for approx. 3 weeks, we will move on to florida, which we’ll use as a jumpoff point to get to hellmurder island, which jade has so kindly given me the nautical coordinates for.

UC: but, of course, we’ll discuss all this further when we meet up.

UC: ...ok, that should mostly be it.

UC: bring clothes for warm and cold weather, camping supplies, weaponry, food, and any other supplies you might need.

UC: when in doubt, always take a little too much.

UC: alright, rant over. any questions?

TT: I have a few.

UC: ...ok. shoot.

TT: Okay, so.

TT: Firstly, you mentioned that the majority of your family has been claimed by the mold. If I may, how did this affect their fine motor controls? Can they still open locks, windows, et cetera, or is it limited to mindless swinging of limbs?

TT: Secondly, what do you propose as a long-term solution for this? If this is in fact the end of the world, what should we do to survive afterwards?

TT: Lastly, I would like the ‘proof’ you mentioned to Karkat earlier. After Roxy and I barricade our home according to the guidelines you will, hopefully, list pertaining to question 1, I intend to write a guidebook on how to survive all this based off of our experiences for any survivors who happen to find it, and any available visuals would be appreciated.

UC: ...ok.

UC: on question one- it varies. most tend to just wander around limply, maintaining the ability to run and grab things, but not too much else. maybe a relatively precise kick if they can manage it, but they have about the coordination of very fast toddlers. those make up approx. 60% of cases.

UC: but, of course, there are exceptions. some of them, generally newly transformed ones, can turn a key or write in chicken scratch, but those are generally weak.

UC: i would recommend taping over or breaking outer locks, boarding up windows from the inside, and trying to be as quiet as possible. the newer ones can hear you better, so watch out for them. they’ll look a little more… human than the others.

UC: secondly, the current plan is to head out to jade and jake’s island, where they’ve established independent sources of food, water, etc. away from the mainland.

UC: and i’ll send you the stuff.

TT: Okay, thank you.

UC: well… i think that’s it.

UC: if you have any other questions, go ahead and dm me, if not, get packing and going on your way to your respective meeting points.

UC: good luck, and stay safe.

_ You hesitate for a moment, scrolling over the last few messages again to make sure you know what’s going on, before you send one last text. _

EB: ok, you too!

UC  closed memo.

All that was only two days ago. At first, your dad wouldn’t let you go, and you thought you would have to tell anya you weren’t leaving until, well…

Until he got the fungus.

You just woke up the next day, and he had a fever, tons of sweat, and was salivating like a dog with a porkchop. You called him an ambulance, despite his protests, and, by the time you got to visit him the next day, he was covered in purplish fuzz, froth from his mouth, just like Anya said, and his fever was so high all he could do was blabber and look at you with mournful, tired eyes. You and Jane had to put on hazmat suits so you could hold his hands and watch him die.

The minute that heart monitor flatlined, they ushered you right out of there. Jane was too upset to really notice, and you were, too, but you couldn’t help but startle at the sound of a captive bolt gun going off.

That night, you started packing.

You lean on your bed, feeling the presence of the three suitcases behind you. There was no time to reel, no time to grieve, not even time to bury him. You know he’d want you to get out of here, forget his rotting corpse, and live, so you’ll do just that, damn it.

You zip up the duffel bag, full of your father’s things that you couldn’t bear to leave, and walk downstairs, the bag weighing heavily on your shoulder. You packed lightly- five pipes, his wallet, a few shirts, et cetera- but you couldn’t help but take a little too much. Jane did the same, only she took more of the actual ‘keepsakes’- an old locket, his fancy porcelain pipe that he only smoked on Christmas, things like that. You’re taking him with you, in a way- if he couldn’t win against... whatever this is, at least you’ll have little bits of his stuff on you. His shirts still smell like him, and his pipe has a little of the tobacco he was last smoking in it.

It’s not much, but it helps… something.

You take it down to the car, and set it carefully in the backseat next to Jane’s hat box, full of tissue paper and a few choice things she picked- namely, hats.

You strap both storage devices in with the seatbelts,making sure nothing will break on the drive you have ahead of you. You’re a better driver than Jane, so you’ll be driving most of the trip, and she’ll read the map.

A few more trips, and all your things are in the car. Jane had the job of picking food and supplies to bring with you, as you don’t know how long most foods last or how to store them. She’s mostly done- just a few more bags of canned stuff, she says- and you settle in the driver’s seat, content with the full tank of gas and three spare cans in the backseat.

You take a long look at the house you grew up in for what might be the last time. You have so many memories in this house, it’s hard to recount all of them just sitting here. You turned 20 last month; you decided to take a gap year because you didn’t really know what to do with your life, and then that turned into two years and… well, here you are.

You lean back, reeling from all of this. In the last week, you’ve experienced three separate life-changing events. The death of your father, moving out of your childhood home and, of course, an outbreak of zombie mold.

The neighbors are all treating this like it’s fine. They’re wandering around watering their gardens and playing in the sprinklers, and all you can think is how they’re all done for. They’ll find out in about two hours, when the emergency broadcast goes out, telling them to wash their hands and avoid sharing drinks, and you’ll be long gone. Within a week, nearly all of them will be dead.

Jane gets in the car next to you, and takes in her own shaky breath, accompanied by a slight whimper. You look over to her, not sure what to do.

Her eyes are shiny and watering, and her hands are shaking horribly. She’s been a little more emotional than you about this whole thing, and you get it; you’ve barely been holding it together yourself nowadays. She shudders and leans back, crossing her arms nervously. You tap on the steering wheel uncomfortably, before leaning over and giving your sister an awkwardly-angled hug.

“hey… it’ll be ok, jane.”

“...Thanks, june.”

She shakes her head, sniffing slightly, waving you away with a limp hand as you get back into your seat.

“Oh, I know I’m being ridiculous. It’s just… a lot, is all.”

“hey, i get it! you’re actually being really, really strong right now. i know a lot of people that would just break down and not get back up, after all this.”

Images of Karkat flash through your mind as you sit there with your hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to calm down a little. Your eyes focus in on one of your neighbors, who’s sweating buckets while mowing his lawn, as you pat her a little quicker, trying to hasten her ever so slightly. After a moment, she takes one last deep breath and dabs at her eyes with a tissue.

“Ok, ok. I’m alright. Thanks.”

You both look around your little row of houses by the lake, and pull out of the driveway for the last time. The neighbor, Paul, waves at you. He was a friend of your father’s, and doesn’t even know he’s dead yet.

You wave back, smiling as brightly as you can, knowing he’ll be gone in a week, and peel down the street with an odd sense of finality.

After maybe an hour, Jane’s calmed down and is on her phone- making sure to keep it charged- and all you can do is think about what this entails for you.

Anya told you to write down the instructions and addresses she gave you; you put them on every map in your car- of which there are many- in several notepads, and even on your hand. You can’t afford to lose them- those numbers are the most valuable thing in the world to you right now. The internet could go down at any time, and that memo could be your last message to your friends until you see them in person.

If you see them in person.

The freeway is relatively open, considering it’s a Tuesday morning and everyone’s just gotten to work, and you feel a little sick, but steady and capable nonetheless.


End file.
